Dave Kern grew up on the South Shore of Long Island. Although his parents lived in North Woodmere, his post office was in Valley Stream and his high school was in Hewlett. At least the candy store (depicted in the song "Lemonade") was just down the block. David is known to take extended leaves to wander aimlessly through the woods like the wandering jew that he is. This nomadic disposition seems to follow him back home, where he is found for as much as a week at a time with his pack on his back, crashing on the floors and couches of friends and bandmates alike during his travels through the brush of Manhattan.

1st performance — "Tomorrow" from Annie at summer camp, age 7

1st body percussion — a joke in college with the Binghamton Crosbys, paying tribute to "The Kern Gut"(genetic)

To my despair, all too often. I can't speak for the rest of the group. I have to admit, I'm seeing a pattern with names, however strange that might sound. I've dated 3 Jen's, 3 Laura's and 2 Kelly's. The ones that walk on by usually go by the names of Kim(3) and Lisa(2). Melissa's are somewhere in the middle — I don't want them or they don't want me. I'm still lookin' for the bottle on the beach with the genie in it. One of my wishes would be to be that guy who is everybody's crush. Then, maybe this search for my better half would finally come to an end. "Maybe one day, this song will end...but until that day, I'll be an Exboyfriend..."