The descendant of Estonian Vikings, Lehho was born in Jamaica, Queens, a 5½-pound 24-inch salami with ears. The surf that massages Naragansett Beach and the Jersey Shore was for some years his first metronome. Buckets of steamed clams were like music to his belly, helping him rapidly to become the limbsy freak you hear today. His time spent at university carousing with the Binghamton Crosbys, that swashbuckling band of singing cavaliers, ultimately landed him in his current dodgy company. A member once of the Averill Park High School Chamber Singers, the Binghamton University Chorus, and the Harpur College Chorale, he currently provides bottom to his favorite vocal septet, Crush on Janice (some of them are ladies). His favorite movies are True Romance, Scenes from the Class Struggle in Beverly Hills, and Blade Runner, his favorite book Castaneda'sThe Teachings of don Juan, his favorite diversion road-tripping, and his favorite shape round. He grows his hair long to vex the baldies. A champion eater, sleeper, and pleasant dreamer, Lehho is famous for his legendary charmlessness.

The second one. No. The first one. What was the middle thing? Ha ha ha... all kidding aside, it's the first "h" that's silent.

Seated is the only hygienic toilet pose, misguided notions of machismo notwithstanding, but I publicly avoid it absolutely without exception. At work is the only exception. There, a giant lavender hermaphroditic dwarf sugar glider rubs the seats with its enchanted chamois, stopping only for the laxation of mortal drones.